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Poster: craven714 Date: May 29, 2012 8:25pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: Noisecollector v. Telephone Toughguy

chuck norris vs keith richards?

norris would win the fight, but no one is outliving keith

"As you were" good... I was just running through a heaped
compost pile of degrading whole pineapples. back to work

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Poster: cosmicharIie Date: May 30, 2012 4:42am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: Noisecollector v. Telephone Toughguy

Chuck Norris was/is way overated, he barely got into full contact karate and was owned by several fighters in his tag-karate hayday. I witnessed his defeat twice in one night at the 1965 California Karate Championships by the great Tonny Tulleners. Tony was Tak Kubota's top fighter.

A 30yrs Chuck vs almost any decent MMA or Thai kickboxer fighter of today and Chuck would go down in flames. It's a matter of movie persona vs reality

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Poster: Piles Date: May 30, 2012 7:36am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: Noisecollector v. Telephone Toughguy

Chuck Norris spent the night in West Virginia once. The next day the state changed its name to West Ia.

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Poster: craven714 Date: May 30, 2012 8:05am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: Noisecollector v. Telephone Toughguy

I think the joke you are thinking of is:

CN spent the night in the Virgin Islands once. The next
day they were just call The Islands

???

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Poster: Mandojammer Date: May 30, 2012 8:33am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: Noisecollector v. Telephone Toughguy

Chuck Norris is alive because God wanted Freddie Kruger, Darth Vader and Emperor Palpatine to have nightmares.

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Poster: Piles Date: May 30, 2012 9:28am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: Noisecollector v. Telephone Toughguy

Hey that's a good one. I love the Chuck Norris facts.
I like the one above also, but it keeps telling me to sign in when I try to reply. Quirk in the system I guess.

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Poster: SomeDarkHollow Date: May 30, 2012 10:35am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: Noisecollector v. Telephone Toughguy

They named a street in LA after CN once but later had to change it back...no one crosses Chuck Norris and lives.

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Poster: craven714 Date: May 30, 2012 9:37am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: Noisecollector v. Telephone Toughguy

CN can slam a revolving door.

Attachment: The_Official_Chuck_Norris_Fact_Book_-_101_of_Chucks_Favorite_Facts_and_Stories.jpg

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Poster: craven714 Date: May 30, 2012 9:05am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: Noisecollector v. Telephone Toughguy

The easiest way to determine CNs age is to cut him in half and count the rings.

When CN was born, he slapped the doctor.

Even Google cant find CN

Superman wears CN pajamas to bed at night

CN nevere uses a stunt double, except for crying scenes

CN could lose both legs and still 'walk it off'

The boogeyman checks for CN under the bed before sleeping

CN can kill 2 stones with 1 bird

CN can cut through a knife with hot butter

If you work in an office with CN, never ask him for a 3-hole punch

CN can build a snowman out of rain

CN built Rome in a day

CN can make an onion cry and unscramble an egg

Look out, CN is right behind you :)





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Poster: user unknown Date: May 30, 2012 6:50pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: Noisecollector v. Telephone Toughguy

If you swallow a quarter and Chuck Norris round house kicks you in the stomach you will crap out two dimes and a nickel.

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Poster: grendelschoice Date: May 31, 2012 8:42am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: Noisecollector v. Telephone Toughguy

Chuck Norris grinds coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.

Chuck Norris isn't hung like a horse, horses are hung like Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris doesn’t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

Chuck Norris can get Blackjack with just one card.

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity—-twice.

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Poster: Mandojammer Date: May 31, 2012 7:25am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: Noisecollector v. Telephone Toughguy

Chuck Norris went to Burger King, ordered a Big Mac, and they gave it to him.

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Poster: craven714 Date: May 30, 2012 5:52am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: chuck mate

To C Charlie:
I had to post 'to myself' because of this sites system,
I couldn't post to you as needed.
('Log In' prompt when Im already logged in crap...)

But to me, it's the difference of understanding a joke, or
not. Which you clearly didnt and ran with it, and, as I am
guilty of doing over the years as well around here.
(just ask scotch_glass)

Chuck Norris - overated. check
Chuck Norris - 1965. check (before my time)
Chuck Norris - would get the sh!t knocked out of him in
todays arenas - check

Chuck Norris joke - check mate

~~If I had my way, I would tear this whole building down~~

Anyone got that PDF of Norris jokes that was posted here once at hand?

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